In the lead up to this year’s mothers’ day I have been contemplative. I naturally have thought of my ideal day- you know the usual: the house to myself while I lay on the couch under a crotchet blanket enjoying my new book club book and you guys evacuate our little house on the hill. Will it happen? Maybe, maybe, not.
Most of the mothers I know say that all they want is for their children to stop fighting for one day. Ok- let us not go AJ Magnay CRAZY here, I am a realist. I would settle if the three of you would just for one hour stop this nit-picking- stirring-never-ending- fighting stuff that you guys do. I am not asking for WORLD peace just a little peace and harmony on a Sunday. You guys are brothers, my sons, why don’t we try a little more kindness towards each other.
For your information if I wanted to be a referee I would wear long socks, short shorts have a whistle around my neck and run about the house backwards. How about this: referee yourselves try and sort out your nonsense on your own. Leave me out of your sibling disputes this applies to all days not just on the second Sunday in May.
I was wondering if we could reconfigure Mother’s day a little? What about this my dear children… we could divide the 24 hours allocated to my special day (6 hours of which I am asleep) and just take 15 minute blocks of time to be allocated at a time of my choosing, for example… I may need you to bring the clothes in off the line and when you argue with me and say stuff like
‘I did it last time’ (which we both know to be fictitious) I could pull out my special mother’s day voucher where, I would be able to immediately redeem some of that its mother’s day I will do it without arguing attitude. This voucher would serve two purposes
- you would do the job and
- we could skip the whole emotional combat that occurs when you are asked to do something to help me.
Yes this is it I will start working on my Mother’s day attitude vouchers right now.
My mum once said to me it must be funny watching yourself grow-up. It has been only in recent years that I am really starting to understand what she meant with that statement. Some of my qualities are awesome and bloody amazing .
Yes boys you can thank me later for my charming ways. However some of my other traits, well I am sorry they are your little burdens to carry. I am sorry that I have passed on the slow running gene, strong sense of right and wrong, the tendency to massively exaggerate, the ability to not cope when hungry and that out there animated non-stop talking style.
The gift that I have given you and the one that I am the most happy with is your love of reading. I secretly love that you don’t come to the table for dinner when I first call you because you are in the middle of some amazing plot twist in your latest book. I am so happy that you see books as an important part of your life I can’t wait until you can read the Outsiders, Power of One, Clan of the cave Bear, The Book Thief. I hope that year eleven English makes you read Pride and Prejudice I don’t think that I will get you to read it otherwise.
Anyway I love the three of you much the same way as I love watching the West Wing.
Love MOTY 😇