I preferred it when it was the year of the dragon or even the rat. But sadly it seems that 2017 has been the year of entitlement and unlike the Chinese New Year calendar I don’t see it likely to rotate next year. Although early indications are, that 2018 will be the year of – all rights and no responsibilities. This does not fill me with joy as I look to leave this year and move into the next.
I feel that I am again drowning in my own life. Only just managing to keep my nose above water. It is a situation all of my making. In an absolute obsession to win the imaginary Mother of the Year Title, I do not say no to our commitments. Instead I have some hap-hazard all the balls in the air triage system, that sees me scrambling around making sure everyone gets to be at their sport or drama practice on time.
This busy-ness in and of itself would be okay but there is one key ingredient missing in this speeding graviton show ride of life and that is – gratitude.
I choose to take them to their activities baseball, cricket soccer, drama and singing practice because it is through these avenues they test themselves. They get coached by people who are supportive of them, who are motivated to see my children be the best that they can be. By being a part of their drama and sport communities they have a sense of belonging, it also gives them hands on experience of working with others for a common goal. I valued these experiences when I was growing up and there are many life lessons that my children can learn from these activities.
So that is why I put myself willingly through the let’s-do-everything-for-them ringer. However…with the absence of gratitude leads to resentment and the thing about resentment is it can fester. Like a fungating mass it seeps and oozes gnawing away at relationships. When doing for others is expected and not appreciated it creates a hefty breeding ground for entitlement.
Well ringer no more. I am done. There will be a massive shake up in my house. I am considering industrial action. I will be downing all mothering tools; the Suski Swift, washing machines, irons, ironing boards, dryers, clothes lines, dishwashers, ovens, kitchen sinks, brooms, vaccums and mops. I will be commandeering all Wi-Fi codes and passwords I am going to regain control of my life (hang-on just before Christmas??) Not great timing but I am making a stand.
I will also look at the issue of pocket money… hit them where it hurts. Imagine if I rocked up to the hospital on pay day and just worked really hard every second Wednesday, the rest of the time I just had a laugh and still expected to get paid. Well apparently here at Hotel Weekes that is exactly how it works. Well no more. I am done!
I have three sons and I do hereby solemnly swear that it was never my intention to grow-them-up to be entitled but it just comes so naturally to them.
I see it not only as my mothering duty but my civic duty to not let anymore entitled children into the world. I also fear that if the research is true more and more twenty-somethings are still living at home (cue in warning bells here). What kind of young adults am I creating? I don’t want the type that comes home from a day’s work, and just leave the dishes sit in the sink or the washing left on the line while they sit and watch Netflix waiting for their parents to come home from their job so that they can finally eat dinner.
Nope I can see that future and I am not having it. I need to act now. I only have to provide them with a safe, warm loving environment with food and shelter all the rest are optional extras. I can feel some tough love coming up.
All I want for my children is for them to be healthy, and to understand the power of kindness, and the happiness that can be found in gratefulness.